06 July 2008
CPE is Hard
First off, I just want to thank everybody for their
well-wishing and prayers, that goes for folks who
have done CPE and for those who haven’t. It is a
rough program at times.
As I’ve told lots of you, part of the program is doing overnight on-call shifts at the hospital. This means I get to stay at the hospital all night, making myself available for pages and traumas in the ER. A lot of the time, the night is quiet (n.b., we never say the q-word; it’s bad luck!), but other nights it’s not. Last night was a hard one.
Ordinarily, baptizing babies is an event of intense and deep spiritual joy. As a chaplain, though, it’s often very much not such an event. The only baptisms we really get to do is for babies who aren’t going to make it. Last night, I was paged twice to the world of babies and new mothers to do a baptism. I won’t get into the details here in this ever-so-public forum, but you can rest assured that intense and spiritual joy was not the primary emotion in operation. If you want to know more, let me know; I’d love to work through it some more…
On the hospital shows, like Scubs and House, eventually there’s an episode about how everpresent death is in a hospital. This week was apaprently my episode. It’s not that I ever really thought anything like “what’s the point?” or “why would God do this?” but there’s definitely a lot to deal with… We learn different ways to deal with it. The night after I stood with a man while his wife died, I came home and listened to Sufjan Stevens’ version of Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. Today, I went to the museum, then saw Wall•E. That was good therapy. Everyone shoul dgo see that movie. It is absolutely amazing. One of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time.
Thanks again to everyone who takes a gander at this little w’blog! Don’t be shy, if you feel moved, leave me a comment or twelve! I’d love to hear from you!
As I’ve told lots of you, part of the program is doing overnight on-call shifts at the hospital. This means I get to stay at the hospital all night, making myself available for pages and traumas in the ER. A lot of the time, the night is quiet (n.b., we never say the q-word; it’s bad luck!), but other nights it’s not. Last night was a hard one.
Ordinarily, baptizing babies is an event of intense and deep spiritual joy. As a chaplain, though, it’s often very much not such an event. The only baptisms we really get to do is for babies who aren’t going to make it. Last night, I was paged twice to the world of babies and new mothers to do a baptism. I won’t get into the details here in this ever-so-public forum, but you can rest assured that intense and spiritual joy was not the primary emotion in operation. If you want to know more, let me know; I’d love to work through it some more…
On the hospital shows, like Scubs and House, eventually there’s an episode about how everpresent death is in a hospital. This week was apaprently my episode. It’s not that I ever really thought anything like “what’s the point?” or “why would God do this?” but there’s definitely a lot to deal with… We learn different ways to deal with it. The night after I stood with a man while his wife died, I came home and listened to Sufjan Stevens’ version of Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. Today, I went to the museum, then saw Wall•E. That was good therapy. Everyone shoul dgo see that movie. It is absolutely amazing. One of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time.
Thanks again to everyone who takes a gander at this little w’blog! Don’t be shy, if you feel moved, leave me a comment or twelve! I’d love to hear from you!
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Telemetry what?
The fourth of july was rainy in Philadelphia, but the
fireworks were amazing. Loud, but amazing. Largely
hidden behind smoke, but still amazing. That says a
lot, I think! It only make ssense that Philly would
have a good show on the 4th, it being the Place of
the Signing and all... I’d love to hear if anybody
did anything exciting for the holiday weekend.
Anybody? Anybody? Beuller?
Ahem. Sorry ‘bout that. Right. Onward!!
So, I realize that I haen’t said a whole lot in my recent posts about how CPE itself is going, as opposed to my various adventures. That changes... now!
CPE is hard, it’s tiring, I’m learning a lot, and I’m almost halfway done! Whoo.. four things about cpe in one sentence... I’m whupped.
No, really, it’s going well. It is totally exhausting. As most of you know, I’m an introvert-type, and so having intense interaction with el publico day in and day out for eight hours per day (in or out, it makes no matter) is enough to leave me good for little more than last night’s Daily Show and some snoozing. Piled on top of that is the fact that most of that interaction falls into one of two categories: talking with patients (often about less than happy things) and intense self-examination with the group.
This is a part of the CPE process that I’ve spoken very little about. A good deal of our “classtime” is spent in what really amounts to group therapy + professional development, as we analyze interactions we’ve had, and all of the psychology that went into our decisions. I’m learning a lot in these “clinicals” about what makes me tick, and how I react to stressful situations. And in this sense, CPE is proving invaluable. In learning how I respond to a variety of intense interpersonal situations, I am learning how best to deal with them when they do crop up. There’s nothing like on-the-job training…
A lot of the patient interactions are very rewarding, and there’s a lot to learn simply from them. It’s always nice to hear that they or their family have appreciated my being with them, and it’s even better to see them go home healthy.
Even while they’re still in the hospital, they can provide some entertainment value at times. One paitent who had been at Thomas Jefferson for some weeks had had frequent visits from his lady friend, and his nurses could tell just exactly how much fun they were having of a night by the readings on the remote heartrate monitors. Telemetry porn. Only in a hospital…
Ahem. Sorry ‘bout that. Right. Onward!!
So, I realize that I haen’t said a whole lot in my recent posts about how CPE itself is going, as opposed to my various adventures. That changes... now!
CPE is hard, it’s tiring, I’m learning a lot, and I’m almost halfway done! Whoo.. four things about cpe in one sentence... I’m whupped.
No, really, it’s going well. It is totally exhausting. As most of you know, I’m an introvert-type, and so having intense interaction with el publico day in and day out for eight hours per day (in or out, it makes no matter) is enough to leave me good for little more than last night’s Daily Show and some snoozing. Piled on top of that is the fact that most of that interaction falls into one of two categories: talking with patients (often about less than happy things) and intense self-examination with the group.
This is a part of the CPE process that I’ve spoken very little about. A good deal of our “classtime” is spent in what really amounts to group therapy + professional development, as we analyze interactions we’ve had, and all of the psychology that went into our decisions. I’m learning a lot in these “clinicals” about what makes me tick, and how I react to stressful situations. And in this sense, CPE is proving invaluable. In learning how I respond to a variety of intense interpersonal situations, I am learning how best to deal with them when they do crop up. There’s nothing like on-the-job training…
A lot of the patient interactions are very rewarding, and there’s a lot to learn simply from them. It’s always nice to hear that they or their family have appreciated my being with them, and it’s even better to see them go home healthy.
Even while they’re still in the hospital, they can provide some entertainment value at times. One paitent who had been at Thomas Jefferson for some weeks had had frequent visits from his lady friend, and his nurses could tell just exactly how much fun they were having of a night by the readings on the remote heartrate monitors. Telemetry porn. Only in a hospital…